We’ve all heard the stories about why it’s important to travel solo. I love traveling solo and I recommend that everyone tries it, but recently I traveled solo and also single for the first time and it was entirely different from all of my other trips. Traveling while being in a relationship works great for some people, while it’s awful for others. Especially if the person you’re dating has a bad attitude about it…
Because, guess what? Female travelers get enough shit for traveling alone, nobody needs the same shit from their significant other.
These are just a couple of attitudes I’ve dealt with in regards to traveling:
The Insecure Attitude
This is a big one. This is the person who you leave to go study abroad and can’t figure out what to do with you when you get back. More than likely you become more confident, more independent, and more sure of yourself. And somebody with an insecure attitude likes to try to cut you back down to size, instead of learning about this new person that you’ve become.
The Pessimistic Attitude
Another attitude I encountered was from a boyfriend who told me that my plans to travel weren’t “realistic.” I’ve heard the same thing from everyone else and you probably have too. The fact is: your plans aren’t just realistic, but they are perfectly attainable because they are a priority. If traveling is more of a priority than getting married at this time in your life then that’s okay.
The Manipulative Attitude
And then there was person who says they love your ambition and your independent spirit and they want to travel the world with you! I still remember the one who lied to me about traveling the world together and instead tried to convince me to stay home and settle down with him, but when that truth came out and I told him I was still going to travel, he snapped at me, “You just need to admit that you love traveling more than you love me!” I mean, with that attitude? Yeah, I guess you’re right. Problem solved.
Their attitudes aren’t uncommon, but that doesn’t make them justified. For some people, traveling isn’t just a fun hobby to do when work lets them have some vacation time. For some people, traveling is a part of who they are:
I’m independent and confident because I studied abroad for an entire year. I’m a hard worker because moving abroad meant working 40-60 hours a week to build my savings. And yes, I am deeply and passionately in love with experiencing different cultures. This isn’t just me trying to throw shade at my ex’s; I still have love for every single one of them and traveling wasn’t the sole reason for any of my breakups. This is me telling you that comments like those should never stop you from following your dreams!
People love to say that traveling isn’t realistic, that it’s just meant for vacation, that it’s not an attainable lifestyle, or oh no! “How are you going to settle down and raise a family if you’re traveling all the time?”
Wow, how selfish of me to not think about my non-existent husband and unborn children.
So buy that plane ticket, pack your bags, and go have a new experience! Because when you travel alone and when you don’t have a partner waiting for you back home then everything is about you:
- No one is checking up on you except your mom (and she carried you in her womb for 9 months, which is more than what any partner will do, so cut her some slack).
- You can kiss as many strangers as you want. Go to a club, find someone to dance with, buy each other a drink, make out a little, tell them you “need help learning the language,” etc.
- You’ll learn more about yourself than you ever could with someone waiting for you back home. When you don’t have to keep up with someone else and maintain your plans together, you are able to grow in so many different ways.
- Loving yourself becomes a lot easier. Traveling solo creates confidence and traveling single forces you to only care for yourself. Letting myself go off and have the time of my life without any other priorities but myself is my favorite form of self-care!
Disclaimer:
I love seeing couples that travel together. I think it’s wonderful to see two individuals who can grow and learn together while seeing the world. I also don’t think long distance relationships are entirely unrealistic. Some people are able to make them work. And I was never angry about being in a relationship while traveling abroad. This is simply my advice for anyone who finds themselves in a relationship with someone who is less than supportive…
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