Hey there, readers! Long time, no see. Anybody else notice this pattern? I tend to take a hiatus before coming back with some newfound energy and I start off with an update post. Don’t worry, I have much more exciting posts in store for the Fall…

This year has been such a roller coaster for so many and now I want to talk about what I’ve been up to.

2020 started off on a pretty terrible note for me. While I was in China I never wrote about any crazy experiences or adventures because I was mentally and physically exhausted 100% of the time. I made the mistake of trying to teach kindergarten while my autoimmune disease flared up and by the time November hit, I was losing 1-3tbsp of blood a day.  

One week before Christmas, I was admitted to the emergency department. 7 days without food or water, a traumatizing meeting with the doctor where they told me they were preparing to rush me into emergency surgery because my colon was about to burst, all forced me to come to terms with the fact that I had to quit my job and fly back to The States.

I arrived back in Portland in low spirits. My chronic illness gets in the way of traveling more than I care to admit and it takes its toll on my mental health, sometimes more so than my physical health. 

So now you have it. That is why I am no longer in China. 

Fast forward to February, I landed an amazing job, I turned 25, moved in with 3 roommates in a house just outside of downtown Portland, and things were looking up. 2020 was going to be my year!

Looking back, I have to laugh to keep from crying. 

It’s surreal, sitting at my dining room table across from my favorite roommate, writing this as I drink a Colombian pour over. Little moments like this make me realize that life isn’t so bad, despite the shit storm of a year it’s been. And, to be honest, I’m fairly lucky with how the year has turned out for me…

2020 Reflection:

• I was forced into a breakup with my boyfriend when I had to leave China.

• I made huge strides in my professional career and learned exceptionally more about marketing. 

• For the first time, I focused on my mental health.

• I stood up for myself when I felt taken advantage of at work and when my boss made me hate coming to work.

• I marched for Black Lives Matter.

• I got tear gassed at the Justice Center and ran from the feds in downtown Portland.

• I came out as queer/bisexual. 

• I cooked more and learned so much about flavors and found a love for cooking food from all over the world.

• Most recently, I found a doctor who encouraged my passion for travel and offered me solutions on how to get my medication abroad.

And now I’m here. Finally admitting that I have never felt like I belonged in Portland, I’m currently planning my move to Chicago. 

I’m thankful for the experience I had in China. I loved the kindness of Chinese people. I love the food I got to try. I loved living next to the beach. I love that my boss taught me how to surf. I love that a romantic relationship gave me a lifelong friend in Australia. I love that pushing myself harder than I should have encouraged me to start taking my health seriously and to find more solutions. I love the laughs and games I got to have with all of my students. 

Most of all, I love how it led me into the hardest year I have ever experienced but needed. But through all the tears, anxiety attacks, sadness for COVID victims, anger at the government, hard talks about politics and ethics with family, 2020 taught me more about who I am, what I want, and what I believe.